Balls Fore (Ball Games #4) Page 6

  ‘Do you want to ask Dylan to fetch us back, love?’ asks Dora.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ I tell her.

  ‘No. We’re sorry. We wanted to help but we’re crowding you when you’ve enough on your plate. Just know we’re here if you need us.’

  Cam gets out her phone.

  ‘No, stay. I need to talk.’

  Cam puts her phone back in her bag, ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes.’

  I absentmindedly stroke the side of my mug. ‘Leo’s being great given the circumstances. He’s agreed to go slowly and we’ve arranged that I’ll take Trey to his house next Sunday. The thing is, yes he could have been a lot more demanding, but my mind is racing ahead anyway. On Sunday, I’ll be looking around his house and I’ll be advising him on baby proofing for our son, which means that at some point, Trey will stay with Leo, and -’

  I burst into noisy sobs.

  ‘Oh my God. I never thought,’ says Dora as she envelopes me in a huge hug. ‘Apart from Friday nights he’s never been out of your sight, has he?’

  I shake my head and sniff, ‘… safe there,’ sniff, ‘can ring any time I want.’

  ‘I’m sure it’ll be the same with Leo. He’s not far away. I’m sure he has a telephone, and if you’re going slow, ask if he can go for a couple of hours first. Build it up.’

  ‘I know,’ sniff, ‘but I’ve never had to share him before. He’s mine.’

  Dora tilts her head and sucks on her lip for a moment. ‘He’s not, though, is he, love? He’s both of yours, and they need to get to know each other.’

  I nod my head. Cam hands me a tissue and I blow my nose.

  ‘So, step one. You spend some time at his house on Sunday. Then why don’t you do something like go to Meadowhall? You could wait in a coffee shop or restaurant while he takes Leo to a couple of toy shops. That won’t take more than an hour, then they could join you for something to eat and drink.’

  I sniff again. ‘That sounds an okay idea actually. Yeah maybe that could work.’

  ‘How is it seeing Leo again?’ Cam ventures.

  ‘You mean do I still have feelings for him?’ I close my eyes for a moment. Then I focus my gaze on my best friend. ‘I’m not sure my feelings ever went away, but they complicate things. Anyway, I’m sure I’m the last thing on Leo’s mind. I bet he hates me. I need to put Trey first. It needs to be about our son.’

  ‘Well, I’m not sure I agree,’ says Dora. ‘I think you need to carve out a little time for yourself. You were on constant high alert, even before Leo returned. I’ve seen you and your house. It’s like you’re permanently afraid.’

  ‘I am,’ I agree. ‘Because I don’t want to be judged as a single mother. People saying I can’t cope. I’m proud of the way I’ve raised Trey. He lives in a clean and tidy home. He’s loved.’

  ‘That won’t change if he gets to leave a couple of toys out now and again.’ Dora looks around the house.

  ‘I can’t,’ I admit. ‘I’m scared he’ll trip or fall.’

  She nods. ‘I once sat Cam on a windowsill. She was enjoying herself staring out at the garden. I totally forgot and turned around to put a mug away. The split second I remembered it was too late. Her falling off the side happened in slow motion. She landed on the floor and cried. I felt sure I’d killed her, or caused brain damage at the very least. But there wasn’t a mark on her. Three minutes later, she was giggling as the neighbour’s cat had jumped on the outside windowsill.’ She places a hand on my arm. ‘What I’m trying to say, is that you can put every safety measure available in place, but you can’t be switched on 24/7, and you can bet your life in that one second something will happen. Most of the time it’ll be okay, and if it isn’t, you deal with it anyway because you’re a mum.’

  ‘Are you sure it was me who fell and not Tyler?’ asks Camille. ‘It would explain a lot.’

  ‘No, it was you, love,’ Dora replies. ‘Not to be rude but you were a fat baby. You bounced.’

  I giggle at Cam’s horrified face.

  Dora stands up and knocks imaginary fluff from her trousers. ‘Right, well we’re off now. Cam, ring Dylan and tell him we’ll be outside the Co-op. It's time to leave Beth alone.’

  ‘You can stay until he gets here.’

  ‘No. We can see you have a lot on your mind, love.’ She puts on her coat and shoes. ‘Plus, Cam and I need some gossip time to discuss you before we get in the car.’

  ‘No scheming, Dora, please. I’m working things through with Leo, slowly. We’ll get there. Please don’t interfere.’

  Cam looks at her mum with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

  ‘Would I?’ says Dora. She kisses my cheek. ‘Night sweetheart. Remember we love you and we’re always here for you.’ She lowers her voice. ‘Now, I wonder how Tim and Tyler got on with their golf lesson?’

  ‘What?’ I yell, but Dora closes the door with a wink.

  God help me.

  Chapter Ten

  Leo

  I’ve never known a week take so long to pass. I don’t think I can do what I said and take it slow. My son’s face appears in my waking thoughts. He’s in my dreams. More than that, though, I can’t stop thinking about Beth. The truth is, I’m looking forward to seeing her again almost as much as I am my son. My brain, the common sense part warns me against falling for her again. However, my heart and my libido are on the opposite end of the scale.

  Finally, I see them walk up my driveway. Beautiful, stubborn Beth refused to let me pick them up, saying she’d got him around places for the last three years, so she could get here. Trey is skipping down the driveway, stopping to kick the odd stone. Beth is telling him off and pointing to his shoes. I’d buy him twenty pairs of shoes to see that delight on his face, but then I laugh and realise Beth would murder me if I let him kick stones. We’ll stick with the football I’ve bought him instead, and outside. I’ve remembered. Balls outside.

  Beth is unaware I’m watching them from an upstairs window. She straightens her blouse and takes a deep breath before knocking on the door. I see her notice the doorbell and push on that. Then Trey yelling that he wants to press it. She picks him up and lets him. I try not to run down the stairs in my excitement.

  I open the door. ‘Hey.’ I smile.

  ‘Hey,’ she replies. Then she bites on her lip. She’s dressed in a baggy floral blouse and black jeans. Her feet encased in sandals. She has a massive bag over her shoulder. Women and their handbags. What do they carry around?

  Trey jumps in front of me. ‘Grrrr.’

  ‘Are you a tiger?’ I ask him.

  He nods. ‘Grrrr.’

  ‘I’m scared of tigers. Please don’t chase me.’

  So I head through the hallway, jogging slowly while a giggling Trey chases after me. Beth closes the door behind her and cautiously walks through, her eyes looking around for things Trey may catch himself on. I’ve had six days to study baby and child sites. To read up on hazards. My house is as childproof as can be.

  ‘Drink?’ I ask.

  ‘Do you have some water? I’m a little warm. Black jeans on a hot day. Not the best idea.’

  My eyes are drawn to them. She bends over to wipe Trey’s nose. I see how her jeans caress her backside. I want to tell her to take them off if she’s hot. Damn it, man. Stop it. The trouble is, I remember that bottom naked. That I’ve smacked it with my hand. I’m hyper aware that at the top of her right thigh there’s a mole. Which I’ve kissed on many an occasion. She has a scar on her left knee from trying to jump a wall in her childhood and missing.

  ‘Are you going to get it then?’ Beth raises an eyebrow at me. I swear she knows my thoughts.

  ‘Sorry, yeah, I was miles away. What does Trey want to drink?’

  Beth opens the large bag and extracts a beaker. ‘He’s all set thanks.’ So far, she’s been in the bag for tissues, and now a drink. I spy a banana and some packets and boxes. I walk over, ‘Is this like a child-friendly bag?’

  She opens it further to show
me. There are wipes, a plastic knife and fork, a spoon, small bottles of food. Spare pants, ointments, plasters. Toys. So much stuff.

  ‘Looks like I need to go shopping later.’

  ‘Kids need a lot of stuff. It's less now than when he was potty training, although I still have emergency pants for him as he has the odd accident.’

  I lift it. ‘Goodness. It's as heavy as my golf clubs,’ I jest. ‘Right. Water coming up. I’ll add ice and a slice of lemon. Make it posh.’

  ‘As it comes out of the tap is fine,’ she says.

  I know it is, but I want to make the effort.

  I return with two plastic beakers of water. I open the French doors and indicate that we should go outside. Trey runs into the garden and takes off to explore. I see the panic on Beth’s face.

  ‘It’s okay. My garden is completely enclosed and child proof. There are a few plants and shrubs, but I’ve no problem if he kicks a football in them.’

  ‘I can see a Rose bush.’

  ‘Does he know roses have thorns?’

  ‘Yes but he might forget.’

  ‘Beth. Let him learn. I don’t mean remove the fireguard and let him burn himself, but if he scratches himself on a thorn, he’ll learn to be careful.’

  ‘Are you going to teach me how to be a parent?’ she snaps.

  ‘If I think it calms you down a bit, yes,’ I snap back.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Beth lowers her eyes. ‘This is hard for me. I’m not used to sharing.’

  I know Beth is an only child, so this goes back further than her and Trey.

  ‘Well let’s just enjoy our drinks in the sunshine and watch Trey.’

  I’ve bought him a paddling pool and filled it with plastic balls like they have in Camille’s play centre. I expect Trey to dive into it, but instead, he reaches for one ball at a time and throws each one as far as he can in the garden. Then he takes off at a sprint, falling over one and landing on his bottom. His face contorts with laughter and he shouts, ‘splat’, looking at his mum.

  ‘Splat,’ she shouts back and laughs.

  I tilt my head towards her. ‘Splat?’

  ‘I make a joke of most of his falls so he doesn’t become mardy,’ she explains. ‘If he yells splat, I know he’s okay. If he cries, then I’m aware he’s really hurt himself, rather than just wobbled over.’

  ‘Right.’ I rub my forehead. ‘There’s a lot to learn.’

  ‘I was thinking,’ Beth says quickly. ‘After lunch. I thought we might go to Meadowhall if you’d drive us there. There are two toy shops near each other. You could take Trey to them if you like, or any other shop, it doesn’t have to be a toy shop. I could have a coffee and let you two be by yourself. You’d need to keep hold of his hand.’

  ‘Really? I’d love that.’ I don’t realise I’ve put my hand over hers on the garden table until I feel her tense up. Her body stiffens.

  ‘Sorry,’ I withdraw my hand and pick up my beaker. ‘Do you want a refill?’

  She shakes her head. ‘Thank you for thinking of plastic beakers. So many people give me a glass. Often they give Trey a glass if we go out to eat. That’s why I always take a beaker for him.’

  ‘Good to know,’ I say and head back to the kitchen.

  My God. She’s letting me be with Trey on my own for an hour. This is huge progress. I’ll need to borrow her bag. Funny, I realise I don’t give two hoots that I’ll be carrying a bag covered in a multi-coloured flower pattern. While I remember, I head upstairs to get my camera. I want to take photos of Trey in the garden. When I return, he’s on his mother’s knee clutching a packet of raisins. Beth strokes his hair as she smiles at him. I snap a few photos before she notices I’m back. Then I kick a football with Trey and show him golf moves with an identical set I’ve bought for my house. My camera never gets a break. I can’t stop taking pictures. These need to last me until midweek.

  ‘What time do you want lunch?’ I ask Beth.

  ‘Trey usually eats at twelve-thirty? Is that okay?’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘What are you feeding us?’

  ‘I didn’t know what Trey ate, so I bought a selection of things. Also, I could make him a sandwich. There’s salad, and I bought sausage rolls and hot dogs.’

  ‘Well, they’re usually party food, but your son adores sausage rolls and hot dogs, so if you do him a cheese or ham sandwich to go with it, that would be fine for him today.’ Beth reaches into her bag and pulls out a pad and pen. ‘I’ll write you a list of his likes and dislikes. Sorry, I never gave it a thought.’

  ‘I’d appreciate that. Thank you.’

  ‘S’okay.’

  ‘What would you like for lunch?’

  ‘Anything.’

  ‘So is spare ribs, spicy fries, coleslaw and salad okay.’

  Her breath hitches. ‘That will be fine.’

  We went out for a meal just once in our short relationship. That’s what she ate. She knows I remember. I excuse myself to fix the food.

  ‘Oh damn.’ Beth bites her lip.

  ‘What?’

  ‘You need a car seat. We can’t take Trey in your car without one. Sorry, Leo. Looks like shopping will have to be another day.’

  I place a hand on my stomach. ‘No. You stay here. I’ll get one. Relax in the garden with Trey. I’ll be as quick as I can.’

  ‘You sure?’

  ‘Yes.’ There’s no way I’m giving up the chance of time on my own with my son.

  There’s a shopping centre not too far away with a store that sells car items, bicycles - that sort of thing. Within fifteen minutes I’m out of my car and browsing the aisles.

  Group 1, Group 2, Group 3. What the hell? Isofix compatible? Front-facing, rear-facing? What is all this jargon? I’ve walked into yet another world with a whole new language. I can feel myself grow hot.

  ‘Can I help you?’ asks an Assistant.

  ‘Yes please.’ I almost fall on her with gratitude.

  Beth

  Well, what would you do if you were left in the house of your ex alone? I gather Trey up and snoop around. The rooms are all very plain. It’s clean and functional but lacks depth. There are no pictures on the walls. No personal items such as photo frames. I tentatively enter Leo’s bedroom. Trey tries to wriggle out of my arms and he weighs a tonne, but I tell him we must be careful and I’ll put him down for a moment. I’m not sure what I expected to see in Leo’s room. Maybe I was secretly hoping he’d have a photo of me in here? I exhale, annoyed at my own stupidity. Trey starts to whine and attempts to lean out of my arms to grab Leo’s alarm clock, which is shaped like a large golf ball. The one single item that gives some clue to the man who lives here. I quickly take him back downstairs. Once back in the garden, he soon forgets what he coveted a few seconds before. Or so I believe.

  Leo returns, a triumphant grin on his face.

  ‘Got it. It’s all in place. So are you ready to go?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’ I stand up from my garden chair. ‘Trey,’ I shout. ‘Time to go out to the toy shops with Mummy and Daddy.’

  Trey runs over quickly at the mention of toys.

  ‘Ball clock.’

  Shit.

  Leo looks at him and then at me, a crease forming on his forehead.

  ‘What’s he saying?’

  I wave my hand. ‘I’m not sure. Sometimes toddlers make no sense at all.’

  Trey runs inside. Leo and myself go rushing after him. He points up the stairs.

  ‘Want Ball Clock toy.’

  Leo looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

  ‘Sorry.’ I mutter.

  ‘I’d have done the same,’ he says and laughs.

  Leo

  I drive us to Meadowhall. Beth heads into a coffee shop as planned. She passes me what I call the survival bag and repeats herself for the hundredth time. I must hold his hand. That Trey must hold my hand. Do I have her number? There are several other instructions before she eventually kisses Trey, telling him to have fun with Daddy and lets us
leave.

  ‘Shall Daddy buy Trey some Lego?’ I ask him walking into the shop.

  Trey’s eyes light up as he’s assaulted by multi-colours. I quickly realise that nearly everything in the store is too old for him. After a few pouts and stamping feet, he’s satisfied when he has a bag of Duplo in his hand that’s almost as tall as he is. I realise I’m going to have to assert some authority with him some time or Beth is going to get annoyed. However, I figure I’ll be forgiven today as its part of the activity. While the young woman behind the counter scans the item, she talks to Trey.

  ‘Is this for you, sweetie? What a lucky boy.’ She beams at me.

  ‘Raisin.’ Trey yells at the top of his voice.

  ‘Excuse me.’ I tell the assistant and put my flowery bag on the counter to get him a box. I hand them to him.

  ‘No.’ He throws the packet on the counter.’

  ‘You said raisin.’ I ask bewildered.

  ‘There. Raisin.’ He points.

  I follow the direction of his finger, which is pointing at the other assistant behind the counter. She has a dark mole on her cheek. Our assistant is trying her best not to laugh. ‘Trey. Look at your Lego.’ I try to distract him.

  ‘Raisin. There, Daddy, raisin.’

  The other assistant turns a bright shade of red but doesn’t look at us. I’m mortified that she knows exactly what Trey means. I guess it’s not the first time it's happened. Picking up our purchases, I once again state loudly, ‘Here you go, Trey, your raisins.’ Then I hurry us out of the store before he can say anything else.

  If I think that’s the end of my embarrassment - it's not.

  In the Disney Store, surrounded by other parents with very young children, Trey sticks his thumb in his mouth. He then pulls it out super fast and yells. ‘I’m fucking my sum.’

  Parents heads spin around so fast I’m surprised they don’t fall off. I see one cover their child’s ears.

  I look at Trey completely confused. Where has he learned that language? I can’t believe Beth’s taught him those words.

  He sticks his thumb in his mouth again, sucks on it and pulls it out. ‘I’m fucking my sum.’