Crazy, Stupid, Lazy, Cupid (Cupid Inc Book 1) Page 12

  I opened my mouth to protest.

  “However, there are those who would rather have less targets and focus more on follow up. We need to ensure that the point and shooters have follow up for their matches. So, there will be Point and Shooters, an Aftercare team, and an Undateables team who work alongside dating agencies. The Aftercare and Undateables teams will also have access to a psychologist for those clients or couples who need psychological support. This should cover all aspects of the Cupid process. Starting from this week, we will be taking you Rebecca, plus Samara and Max, to Headquarters and brainstorming and ironing out the finer details. After this, all three of you will be expected to undertake a week’s training here at Cupid Training School to test out the new processes. I envisage separate classes for Point and Shooters versus the Aftercare and Undateables teams in terms of specifics, but then there will be general classes for being a Cupid and best practice.”

  Cupid coughed to clear his throat.

  “I am asking for around a month of your time, Monday to Friday. You can go home at weekends. On completion of the week’s new course, if you graduate—and I would hope given it’s in your best interests you will—you will be assigned to new roles for your probation periods. I understand you weren’t back in training school like the others, Rebecca, but I need you to trial this for the Point and Shooters.”

  “Of course, Sir. It would be my honour.”

  Barf.

  “On successful completion of the course, the following will happen. Rebecca, you will become the Point and Shooter of Hornsea… and Withernsea.”

  “What the-”

  Cupid glared at me and I closed my mouth quickly.

  “I will be opening a branch of Cupid Inc in Withernsea. I have rented a property and hope to purchase it. It’s near to the sea front and a few doors down from the main arcade. The branch will provide a small office space that Rebecca can call a base, but will largely be there for the new Aftercare and Undateables offshoots of the business. Max, you will lead the trial of the Undateables offshoot and Samara you will lead the trial of the Aftercare team. Max you will have to liaise closely with Shelley Landry, who is on board with this idea. Samara you will have to liaise with Rebecca because it’s her clients you will be following up.”

  Cupid smiled looking from Rebecca to me.

  “So it looks like you’re just going to have to get along, girls, doesn’t it?”

  Well played, Cupid. Although the thought of working with Rebecca didn’t make me want to sing and dance, the fact was I needed to make this work. Because it working meant I got to do the Cupiding I wanted to do, and looking at Rebecca’s face it looked like she’d come to the same conclusion.

  “What about my grooming salon?”

  “You will run both businesses just as you did before. How you work out your hours is up to you, but you will need to demonstrate your commitment to Cupid Inc. This is what you asked for remember? You could always keep India on at the grooming salon.”

  India was the woman Cupid Inc had sent to look after the place while I was here. I nodded.

  “So, although the base is in Withernsea, you will cover both Withernsea and Hornsea, which means you will initially be following up on Rebecca’s past matches in Hornsea too, right back from when she started.”

  Rebecca bit her lip.

  “There shouldn’t be too many issues if you always did your math and checked the database.” Cupid told her. “However, Samara, you are right in your assignment about the database being woefully inadequate at times, not least of which was the vulnerability which led to an imposter student being at the school, and also not being up-to-date about Jim’s love details after the park incident. Had they been, we could have removed the arrows and the Destiny situation could have been avoided. I’ve spoken to Theo and he is going to advise me on our whole system. Also, all our student files are becoming computerised.” He put down his piece of paper and beamed.

  “These are exciting times.” He said, “A period of new beginnings. Let’s make the most of them, shall we?”

  We all nodded, including Jessica.

  “Oh and finally, Jessica will be joining you in Withernsea as the psychologist of Cupid Inc, Withernsea and Hornsea Branch. Just between us I’m calling it Cupid and Psych. Do you get it? Cupid and Psych, like Cupid and Psyche. It’s amusing, yes?” Cupid began rocking with laughter while we all politely joined in. “Oh the folklore about me being a god. I wish! Always just been little old Cupid. Just an immortal supernatural being.” He looked at us all again.

  “Okay. So, Martine, if you could stay behind and we can talk about the job offer? Everyone else, can you get packed up to come to Headquarters so we can begin. I’ve booked you all a hotel room each Monday to Friday. It’s a good job us immortals have vast bank accounts from selling our antiques, isn’t it? Still, I like to rein it in a little so it’s a Premier Inn. Jessica, I am arranging a replacement psychologist right now so that you can have a period of overlap before you leave. I think that’s all. Class dismissed. Oh I always wanted to say that. Hahahaha.”

  We began to make our way out of the room, then I thought of something and turned back around. “Oh, Cupid. Can I check something else with you?”

  “If it’s quick.”

  “It’s very quick, but private.” I walked over to him and whispered.

  “Get it done, girl. I highly approve.” He said.

  Smiling, I left the room.

  Jessica made her excuses and went to her office. Rebecca stood alongside Max and I, looking awkward.

  “I guess we both got what we wanted.” She said.

  “Yeah.” I said, my voice strained.

  “Look, I was sorry to hear about what happened to you with that Destiny woman. When she asked me about you, she just said she was an old friend looking to catch up. I had no idea. Also, Jessica told me what you said about why you did what you did at the spa. I do look for the glory all the time. I can’t help it. I’m trying to change, but I guess it’ll take time. Sorry, little brother. I know what I was like to live with.”

  She looked at the floor while Max mouthed, “No she fucking doesn’t,” at me.

  I smirked, dropping it when Rebecca looked back up.

  “Well, I’m sorry too, (I wasn’t, but I wanted a quiet life back in Withernsea). So let’s get all this work done, graduate, and get our probation periods underway in Withernsea. I for one, can’t wait to trial the new systems.”

  “Sounds good. Right, I’m going to head to the cafeteria and grab something to eat before I catch the Tube to Headquarters. See you two soon.”

  She walked away. Max looked at me. “We have to be each other’s stress ball, okay? Give each other lots of squishes, so we don’t kill her. Do you know an exorcist in case we need the demon inside her exorcising?”

  “Don’t worry. There are plenty of people who’ll have our back in Withernsea.” I told him. “You’re going to love it there.”

  Max went off to pack, and I made a phone call.

  Thirty minutes later a red-faced Marcus came running towards me where I stood outside the Principal’s office.

  “She still in there?”

  I nodded.

  “Shit, and how long has this man had her captured?”

  “Not captured. Captive.” I said calmly but firmly.

  “Captive.” Marcus stared me down. “Samara, you said Martine was captured in the Principal’s office by a man who was not the Principal and I should get here as soon as possible to investigate. I have the police on standby.”

  I held my hands up. “I swore I said she was captive in the Principal’s office. She’s in with Cupid. He’s talking to her about becoming the new Principal. Don’t let on you know yet, but I eavesdropped and she’s accepted.”

  “She has. Wow. So she’s staying around?”

  “I think she needs to go out to celebrate, don’t you?” I said, magicking up my purple bow and arrow.

  “Samara.”

  “S
orry, but you’re a perfect match, even Cupid himself gave his permission.” I shot him through the heart. The door opened and Martine walked through. I fired the other at her before she had time to know I was there. She and Marcus looked at each other with stupid lovey-dovey faces, ones I recognised me and my gorgeous husband sharing.

  “Good one, Samara. Keep up the great work.” Cupid winked and then disappeared in front of my eyes. Immortals and their show off special powers. I’d got to go by Tube.

  That night in the comfort of my own hotel room, I video-called Johnny. I’d brought him up to date on everything earlier and now I’d phoned because we’d agreed to have phone sex.

  I stared at my gorgeous hubby waiting for him to say something dirty to me.

  “Strip down to your undies, wife. Show me what I own.” Oooh he was going all alpha male. Yeeeaasss.

  I stripped off, showing him my red and black new set of lacy lingerie.

  “Oh, Sam. I can’t wait to see that in real life.” He groaned.

  I smiled a satisfied smile.

  “Now is that a thong? Okay, baby. Get on all fours and show me that ass.”

  I set up the phone on the dressing table in front of the bed, and climbing onto the end of the bed I wiggled my naked bum cheeks at him showing him I was indeed wearing a g-string.

  “Okay. Now imagine I’ve moved that g-string to the side.”

  Huh, straight to the main event? Where was my foreplay?

  “And then I shove my dick in you… doggy-style.”

  I turned back so quickly I almost fell off the bed. “You bastard.” I screamed. “Ewwwwww.”

  Johnny was screaming with laughter. I pulled a face at him.

  “We were supposed to be having dirty phone sex. It’s a good job I love you.”

  “I couldn’t help it. It was too funny to pass up.”

  Smirking, I nodded. “Yeah, I’m only annoyed I didn’t think of it first.”

  He sat back.

  “Do you want to know what I’m hiding in my boxers?” He winked lavisciously.

  My pussy perked up. Oh good, we were still doing this after all.

  “It’s a sausage. A large hot-dog.” He snorted again.

  “Goodnight, husband. Love you, twatwaffle.” I said blowing him a kiss before sticking up my middle finger at him and ending the call.

  Fate

  I watched over the following weeks as Samara immersed herself in the new training and did graduate once more. Her husband was in attendance at the ceremony looking proud. He and the residents of Withernsea were indeed her family. I’d decided against sending her to Cleethorpes in the end, choosing instead for her and Rebecca to face learning to put other people’s feelings and needs before their own. It would take time but I hoped they’d get there eventually.

  Jessica had asked for a fresh start and so I’d been happy to engineer her move to Withernsea also.

  Max was going to love it there, and I knew they’d love him right back.

  Susan was due to receive a special commendation that would cement her place in the community. She’d become very respected and run for council in the area in the future.

  There was just one thing, one other obstacle, that Samara was going to have to deal with… in eight months time.

  A clue… it wasn’t a puppy.

  Chance

  My sister was always trying to control me. When was she going to realise that she couldn’t? Fate had decided to send Jessica Fazakerley to Withernsea for a fresh start.

  Well, Chance was creating an opportunity for a new recruit to join the Withernsea police force.

  Her ex-husband.

  It could go either way.

  But it looked like Aftercare could be getting their first trial project… in-house.

  THE END

  Read all about the new Withernsea Cupid Inc branch in

  CUPID AND PSYCH

  May 8, 2019

  Pre-order here

  There’s a new dating service in Withernsea…

  Cupid Inc is opening a new branch dealing with the undateables, and those whose sparks need a little extra fuel. Samara Leighton and new friend Max Wilkins are there to serve out their probation periods and lead the pilot of the new services.

  Psychologist Jessica Fazakerley arrives in Withernsea ready for her fresh start, escaping her ex-father-in-law, Cupid, and his disappointment at the ending of his son’s marriage. But with another new arrival imminent, will Jessica end up the first client of the Aftercare project?

  Samara is ecstatic to be reunited with her husband and Withernsea family. Yet Fate still has plans for her. There will be yet another new arrival in town; due in around eight months time…

  Pre-order here

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  Andie M. Long is author of Amazon Number One Erotic Thrillers Saviour, and The Alphabet Game amongst others. She lives in Sheffield with her son and long suffering partner. When not being partner, mother, employee or writer she can usually be found on Facebook or walking her whippet, Bella.

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